BY UNKNOWN

“1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.

2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.

3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.

4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.

5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.

6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.

7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.

8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.

9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.

10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.

Live. Live.

Live.

Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.

”

(c) tumblr 

3 WORDS

Our psychological state allows us to see only what we want/need/feel to see at a particular time. What are the first three words that you see?

Read more: http://pilosopogyno.tumblr.com/page/10#ixzz2P0ybb000

SUICIDE. LEAVE. PASSION

- Were the first 3 words that I saw.. It says that the words we see are the ones that we WANT, NEED, or FEEL. haha! I don't know what it really mean but I guess this 'psychological' things is true. Indeed, I WANT to commit SUICIDE, I WANT to LEAVE, and I FEEL PASSION. :) 

SUICIDE. With my state right now and with all these complicated things bothering me, I can say that I am so close to giving up. I know I've been strong enough and I've gone too far and maybe I can't hold on any longer.. but then I asked myself what's the point of committing suicide when there is more to life? One of my close friend even said "Only bitches do that." and YES hahaha only bitches do! and I guess that'll make me a BITCH if I do it. =)))))) but NO :) Do the people around me really think I could do it? ha! I can't even cut myself then how in the world can I kill myself? LOL. These past few days have been depressing for me yet I got a time for myself to think. I've realized a lot of things, and one of those are: I NEED TO BE STRONGER AND BRAVER :)

LEAVE. Leaving had been one of my options ever since. The thought of running away crossed my mind a lot of times but I never did it. Why? Because I may be scared at times but I'm not that coward to just runaway from life's challenges. No matter what challenges life gives us, we must be brave and strong enough to face it. We may fall a lot of times but we must know when to get back up. 

PASSION. According to Wikipedia, "Passion is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something." PASSION FOR THE ONE I LOVE? hahahaha! I don't know if there's a connection or relevance but that's the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the meaning of "Passion" :) So, okay I have a PASSION for someone. It sound kind of weird and creepy but it's like I LOVE SOMEONE. haha! That was one of the reasons why I'm such a mess these past few weeks. I love someone and we broke up. There's like 98% of chance that we're not getting back together anymore but I still hold on to that 2%. Stupid right? Well, that's just me. I don't give up on things that I can't afford to lose :) I just hope that that PASSION gets me into something good. :)